While I was growing up there weren’t all these rules about having friends. At school I played with both boys and girls. At home I played with the kids on my street, boys and girls, younger and older. I had friends, not BFF’s, (Best Friends Forever).
Thankfully, I wasn’t even aware that I had to have a BFF and to my knowledge none of the girls around me had BFF’s. When you wanted to play with someone, you just played. It was simple, clear and most of all, fun. I have an “old and dear friend” that I have known since I was two years old.
However, I have several other dear friends from all over the world; London, Tokyo, Boston, and here in Colorado. None of my friends are jealous of the others and none of them control my friendships. I need all of my female friendships and rely on any one of them depending on my needs or theirs.
My 10 yo daughter has been coming home from school for several years giving me the update on who’s BFF’s and who isn’t anymore. It’s dizzying at time. Not only are BFF’s changing like the weather but they’re complicating and destroying the natural terms of being friends. “BFF” was born from a marketing ploy to sell “BFF” t-shirts, necklaces, trinkets, etc. It’s a huge money-maker and the marketers know young girls; they change like the weather. When my daughter came home from school one day jumping on the BFF bandwagon I said “Absolutely not.”
We discussed the importance of friendships but how BFF’s have nothing to do with actual friendships. We also discussed how BFF’s hurt more than help friendships. My daughter gets it but if all of the girls are doing it, then she feels like it’s hard for her not to. I get that. The BFF concept is destroying young girls friendships. It’s an inclusion of one and the exclusion of many.
Please encourage your daughter(s) not to fall for the BFF marketing ploy and enjoy playing and having fun with a variety of friends and that is inclusive.